Sunday, November 22, 2009

Figuring "it" out

"I am convinced that there is no simple formula or technique that would immediately allow you to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit. Our Father expects you to learn how to obtain that divine help by exercising faith in Him and His Holy Son, Jesus Christ. Were you to receive inspired guidance just for the asking, you would become weak and ever more dependent on Them. They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit."
Richard G. Scott, October 2009.

I have known this for a while, but sometimes I thought I believed it as an excuse for why I felt so far away. But I felt today, so distinctly, that this was what was being required of me. I am suddenly not so alone. I believe learning to following the spirit is not a "one time" learn, I think it is a growing experience as Elder Scott describes.

Kara Joy

Monday, November 9, 2009


Next most important goal:

Learn to be happy/grateful/cheerful.

I think I need to train my mind to be always looking for things to be happy about. a l w a y s.


Saturday, November 7, 2009


My mom gave me flowers the other day, because I needed them.

One of the most beautiful red ones, was wilted over, and dying. I felt really sad. I have a really hard time throwing flowers away. I remember kind of proping it up with the other flowers around it, trying to save it for one maybe two days. But it came back! It's alaive and stiff, and happy! This makes me think of freinds, and family, and survival.


Life and Death

It's official. We are never who we thought we would grow up to be. The sooner we accept this, the happier we are.

However controversial this statement, I declare my freedom of speech with it.


Sunday, October 18, 2009


Today, a very important person told me that he had something he had been thinking about, and wanted to tell me.

Below :

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

The amazing thing is that he gave me this quote one day after I posted last.
What are the chances?

The other amazing thing, that that both of us say Charity from totally different perspectives, same subjecct!


Chain of Charity

I think that all my readers should know that 50% of the time I am updating a post, I think that I am deep. And the other 50% of the time, I think I am interesting. It is much more likely that I am neither. This is why I have this blog, so that I can believe that my readers (which there are none) find me both deep, and interesting.

Words are difficult. We attempt to use them to communicate what our souls are reaching out to be understood. I have never found words to be difficult. I always knew that I stumbled when trying to explain the deepest meaning of my soul, but truthfully, I am discovering that I have almost no ability to speak. I once thought I could explain anything, just give me enough time, but can you believe that the more you get to know someone, the harder it gets to connect. Before you make judgments of that statement, hear this! It is ONLY because you begin to express sections of your being that even you have not fully explored. You begin to portray yourself from the inside out!, and you find yourself shocked at what was on the inside (mainly the bloody guts, of course).

But now, I have to literally contradict something I just said in the previous paragraph. The more you get to know someone, the more you connect. Verbal Communication is literally about 457% percent more efficient than any other form of thought! Just think! What happens when you unite yourself with someone, so determined to understand you? You begin to expresses yourself verbally, and it might sound like gibberish, but eventually you come to sensible conclusions that normally would have taken weeks, or years, or never at all!

What's the point? Relationships are necessary for real progression!

What's the problem? How often are relationships such, that one is completely concern with understanding the other? But rather, people seek to be understood! Not to understand! Believe me, I am no saint of this subject, and I would challenge any person who says they are perfect at this.

My real point is, I have a lot to learn. "Need I say more?" Such is Kara's Quest. Make it better, learn more, Live a higher way. Care more to understand, not to be understood. Care more about someone important, and to start an important chain of Charity that will continue forever! Who's with me?

Kara Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy

Thursday, August 6, 2009

drama drama drama......

Tonight, I am staying up late downstairs on the couch, angry..... About a subject with significant worth... Sometimes, you can tell, when your argument has lost the majority vote, and you have to give up your vision. It can be hard letting go of a dream, and sometimes as humans, we can be somewhat stubborn. For example, when you want your bed on the north side of the room, but your sister/roommate wants it on the south........ Clearly, the room functions better with the bed on the north side, but your sister (and your mother) argue that there is more privacy when the bed is on the south. BUT isn't that what the door is for? Or perhaps I have mistaken the purpose of the giant piece of wood hinged into the wall, which happens to block the view of the goings-on in the rest of the house.....ANYWAY! To have an idea is a basic human right, and to have it respectfully acknowledged is deserved. However! to sneak around and change the bed to the south side, when the you are not home has put me in such a state of distress!

Blah, blah, blah. This is the family drama that occurs here in my house. To which, I am sure by morning, I will have overcome, and "chillaxed" as my sister might say... nonetheless! May it be a lesson to ALL my readers, the bed CLEARLY belongs on the north side....


Monday, June 29, 2009


I am going to CA on Thursday..... I am excited.
The End!
Kara Joy

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I actually had a request to update my blog! Hence.....the new update.

I am in Utah on a much less exciting adventure than my one to England. I basically came to satisfy my need to be a part of Salt Lake City. I have been spending all my time with old friends, and got to go to my best friends wedding reception (where I caught her bouquet, and I am thrilled about the possibility of what that might mean), and wandering around from friend to friend, and doing a LOT of thinking.

Most interesting, is that I have been spending most of my time, with my friend Brooke Walters, who was my very best friend in the whole 4th grade! I haven't seen her in 12 years, and I found her on facebook, and she invited me to stay with her!

Brooke and I were talking about our agency. Sometimes it is SO hard to make a decisions, because what we want is to follow the will of Heavenly Father, however we don't always know exactly what that is. We just want to scream......just TELL me what to do! I will obey! I want to just use my agency to give up my agency in pure obedience! This way of life would be so much easier than worrying about mistakes that we might be making.... However, life is NOT that way, why is that? In fact, this idea of using our agency to give up our agency, is very similar to a plan I have heard before, and I KNOW was rejected!

Making mistakes is how we learn. I can see that you might read that and say "duh!" But i want you to think about it. Mistakes are actually a beautiful thing. My Organic Chemistry professor used to teach us over and over, that he can give us the answer to a problem and we can say "oh! I would have gotten that answer" but 90% of the time we do not know the subject, until we have done it on our own. Most likely done similar problems (especially retro synthesis) over and over and over, before we get the right answer to prove that we know.

In other words. It is one thing to study principles, and theology, and rhetorical, abstract ideas. It is another to practice them. This is why our life is the way it is! We have to make mistakes to be perfected, so we can learn the ways of perfection. I worry for hours and hours about the consequences of making a mistake, but what I need to remember is that "If our lives and our faith are centered on Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. "(Hunter)

Anyway..... Updates on everything else. Not really much..... I haven't been working, not in school.... and boys :D well.....I don't really ever talk about them on the blog anyway. Though, on a side note, I have developed this wonderful attraction to mushrooms. A certain mushroom to be exact ;)
Sorry for the really long blog update. I do try to keep them short. I guess sometimes i just have a lot to say!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Summer Excitment

Summer is here! I have NO idea what my grades were, I am way too scared to look. but I am D O N E ! This is a big deal, My junior year is behind me, and I can move forward. I have my regrets, and my sucesses, and I have learned enough to keep me going through one more year. The question is: What do I do differently? 1) remember that the first midterm really DOES effect your grade. 2) smiling is the ONLY way to go, complaining really gets you no where, just smile and get to work 3)Where are you going? is that where you want to be headed? huh kara? where? 4) Burn out is REAL, don't let it happen. Take breaks, good ones, but don't let them get to your head.

Work : Good, I love my students. I love to teach piano.....I might do it for the rest of my life as a hobby, I wish i was taking lessons myself.

Oh, and this is SO unbelieiveable, but my freind Leslie called me up the other day, and said "kara! my family is going on a cruise, but my brother can't go, would you like to come?" Here's me "YES!!!!!!" :D I can't believe it, I feel SO blessed, and I can't wait to go. I really feel so lucky, like I won something. Anyway, it's hot, and all the fungi have withered away (if you get my meaning :D) so here is the plan for this summer.

These are my summer goals. These are the "have to's." I have been feeling a need to be really busy recently. Busy with things I always complain I can't do. I hope I can find the 1)money, 2) time and 3)freinds that will do them with me.....hence why I put them here for EVERYONE to see. What do you think?

1.Learn three new songs on the Guitar
a. Finish writing my own song
b. Two by different artists
2. See 5 new places…
a. Utah,
b. Seattle
c. North Montana
d. California :D San Diego, or others….
e. Angel’s Landing (oh please, oh please, oh please)
3. Hike Timpanogos (Boo ya!)
4. Make 30 new friends
a. Already started, Steve, Chad, Alisha, Emily….that’s an easy one :D
5. See some Indian ruins.
6. Read 4 books, legit ones not children’s stories.
7. Get a tan…..healthy one. Just enough that people don’t look at me and think “look dead body!”
a. Go swimming everyday
b. Outdoor activities
8. Exercise, I don’t care if it is hot, I never get to feel healthy, and I am so excited to feel better.
9. Get good grades in my online classes.

Here is a list of the FUN things I would like to do, but I don't have to (though some are a lot more important than others)

1. Lagoon
2. Go to the beach, learn to surf…..
3. Find my way to Boston , or Washington DC
4. Quadding…..3 times
5. ONE boating trip (tubing, in particular, or I’d like to learn to wakeboard)
6. See Erin, from England.
7. Watch lots and lots and lots of movies.
8. Mountain Biking
9. See Brandee and Jamie at least once.
10. Buy a summer dress and wear it

Anyway......So here is YOUR job as a reader. You have to ask me, EVERYTIME you see me, if I am fullfilling these goals. It helps to think someone might be checking to see how well I am doing.
Wish me Luck!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

This is your life......are you who you want to be?

Um......switchfoot is my favorite :D *sigh* good song, good times.

I am not up to much (again) finals are insane and I barely made it through today, so I am feeling really grateful at the moment......trying hard not to think about tomorrow quite yet..... Anyway, here's a thought that has been dying to come out....

Last general conference Elder David A. Bednar suggested a comparison to the creation of the earth, to prayer. I had to read his argument a few times, before I felt I really understood. Just as a reminder, though I would hope that you would read it for yourself, He explains that “[the Lord God, created all things… spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth] (Moses 3:4–5)… meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day.”

We have the power every day, to create our day. Now obviously, we are given the agency to do our will, and to put into motion the activities of our everyday life. But how often do we succumb to our own excuses, not enough money, not enough time, I am not that kind of person, I am trying my hardest, I just got so angry……

But I am talking more than just the daily struggle. I mean to suggest that we can create our environment, our opportunities, or even our personalities. Maybe I should say especially our personalities, I get so scared that I might be stuck with the habits, and character traits I have been taught, it gives me hope to think I might use this tool in overcoming natural tendencies. However I can see this being a very debatable subject, because sometimes it is hard to accept that we have to power to be happy, and we are choosing to be unhappy. It is much easier to believe that Life just handed us a bad hand. I don’t mean to minimize the pain of any suffering person. I just want to express my excitement and hope with rediscovering this tool this week.

I believe what I am talking about is what some call “the Secret” but I have decided that in Truth, prayer plays a crucial part in creating. When we have sufficiently grown so that we can have the faith it takes to rely on Heavenly Father’s will, and trust and believe. When we include Him so entirely in our lives that we are spiritually counseling, and creating every detail of our lives here, we will be to the point where prayer is being used as it should be. No more victimization, only a deep belief in what “I can” and what “He can.” More than belief an actual knowledge that it works, which was a result faith, and the proof that will follow.

This is my act of faith, small as it may be. I believe this, and it is my goal to put it into action. Hence my brand new prayer rock, to remind me how important my morning prayers really are….

Kara Joy :D

Monday, April 27, 2009


I have decided that ASU could throw ANYTHING......and I really mean it, ANYTHING, and I wouldn't even flinch.....just "" I suppose that is a good thing, when I read that, but I mean to show the numbness my life has accepted. I am so burnt out, it is time for the semester to end. This is the last full week of school, and I am SO happy about that, I can barely wait for summer!

I figure, this is the biggest reason I am in Chemical Engineering. I need to learn how to face these hard things, and continue onwards, and upwards. I have learned so many good principles that keep me from procrastination, and everyday I somehow find the strength, and the courage to face a new level of work. I suppose maybe this makes it sound worse than it is. I know so many people doing so much more than me, but I have to say, that this is more than I, have ever done. For this reason, I feel proud!

I am taking myself on a quest, that somewhat relates to my last post, but it is too hard to explain how. I have so many questions, questions that need answers. I am tired of the majority of my questions being rhetorical, they want answers, and somehow..... I will find them. Let the fantabulous quest begin :D

Kara Joy

PS Fungi, are FANTASTIC!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Cheese, Cheese, Cheese :D

I recently discovered that there is at least one person who sometimes looks at my blog. I think I am ok with that :D but I deffinatly changed my attitude about what I put on here in my last blog post, and so I it makes me nervous to be so serious for fear that it will not be taken the way I want :S. Anyway, this post really is about an update into my life.

I am still in school, at it is SO hard. I think being a Junior in Chemical Engineering, is finally catching up to me. I most deffinatly spend way too much time at home doing homework, and WAY not enough time playing with my inner child, and my friends!!!! I try to explain sometimes what the homework is like, but usually people don't believe me! They think I am exaggerating (which i guess I might a little, but not much i swear) so I shall not attempt, let's just be satisfied with "it's hard!"

Boys, boys, boys.......needs I say more? Honestly and truthfully, this ONE subject I hate putting in are going to have to ask me personally there, and I might not even answer then, because half the time i'm not even sure what is going on!

Work? I still teach piano. My number of students has been reduced to 14, which i like a lot more than 20. I think 20 is to many for my situation in life right now.

"And.....that's it!"

Now for the cheese......brace your self! I made the most beautiful discovery this week. Something I wish i could share with Binx, though I doubt he would listen. In fact, it is something I wish I could share with you, but I don't know how! The last few weeks I have been feeling burdened, and facing Life has been getting harder and harder every day. I made it worse, by trying to understand what was making me this way, and when I had no good excuse for feeling down.....I would get more angry/mad/frustrated and thus more "burdened" because I HAD no good reason, so why was I mopping in the first place? It occurred to me, that I lack a huge amount of self trust. I don't trust myself to make decisions that will make me happy, and I don't trust myself to choose what emotions I want to feel. I don't trust myself to find the answers to questions......

Needless to say....I am trusting now. I am trying to care if I make a mistake, because I am trusting to believe that I can find a way to eternal happiness. And most importantly, I am happier than I have been in weeks..... More importantly, Matt absolute classic, and a lifeline in every way.....


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Long Time, No See.


I have been thinking recently.........A Dangerous Pastime, I know :D I haven't really been up to much since I last wrote. Which is maybe relative. It would be better for me to say, I haven't been up to exciting things like I used to when I was living in England. But I have been very busy! School has been requiring a new level of focus, and responsibility from me, and I have to remind myself everyday that is it is there to make me better, not bitter.
I also discovered, that perhaps life does not have to be feast, or famine. It might be that way because we make mistakes, and predict it will do that, but maybe it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Sometimes I wish I were older, so that my discoveries had more weight, and I felt more confidence in the things i have learned.
I am SO grateful for what I have learned this last semester and a half, despite my worries about their validity. I feel that my capacity to achieve has doubled, and my own self reliability is more trustworthy. Though i have no cool stories except for the minor success at school, and the "Fungi" stories. Who knows, maybe that is about to change?!?!?
Kara Joy!