"Much Prayer and Fasting"

All bloggers have one thing in common. They all believe that they have something to share with some portion of the world. I think this must be true about myself. I have something to share with the world! For example; I exist as a contradiction. I am responsible and spontaneous and analytical but pathetically emotional, and my life makes perfect sense but I can't seem to make heads or tails of it. I believe that we (if you are human, and reading this post that means you) always more alike that we are different, and so I have to conclude that there are others out there also battling with the contradictions of their lives.

My life took a very interesting turn yesterday. I choose this totally emotionless word "interesting" to describe it because that is the goal of this week. I choose to not let my ecstatic emotions such as fear, happiness, depression, excitement, and passion make my decisions for me. Yesterday I found out just how alone I am. These shocking moments of my life come in cyclic patterns, it might be pride, or money, or dramma. Apparently it is time for me to remember loneliness.

As I ate my lunch, alone, today I realized that true faith lasts for about 15 mins for me. I can be thinking or praying or reading my scriptures and for 15 mins I feel the peace and reassurance that I recognize so well after all these years. However that leaves me to the rest of my day as fear slowly creeps in on me. I suppose it is easier to just say that there is a lot more I am trying to say than I am actually managing. To sum it up: I have confidence in the results of the next week.

Alma 17:3

Kara