Monday, September 20, 2010

Joy and Black Holes

I exercised twice today. Everyone has got to find their own methods of survival.

There was a moment today when I felt happier than I have felt in a while. You know that feeling when you are so excited you feel like you are about to burst? I was afraid to breathe to deep or I might blow into a million pieces. Sometimes I feel life in me, and I was to scream for JOY! I wonder that I could ever dare feel sad when I have been given so much. But then, I remember those moments. The ones that come to you when you are alone. Where a pit starts to form in your chest. It might be fear, uncertainty, pain, anger, regret, or loneliness. This "black hole" (for lack of a better description, 'cause I would rather not dwell on this feeling long enough to figure our a good description) sucks the life right out of me. I think at those moments there is only one successful source of comfort. Heavenly Father. Ironic that those are the hardest moments to reach out to Him.

I really have been blessed a lot recently. I have been given exactly what I needed to survive. I have also been given exactly what I needed to be allowed the circumstances to think and have appropriate alone time without distractions. I am grateful.

Tomorrow I am going to focus on being happy for others. I am too jealous, and underneath I do know that I am happy for them, it is just time to show it.

kp1

No comments: